If i had only known this was the last time I would see you
I would have hugged you and not let go
If I knew we would never touch again
I would have said i was sorry
If I knew we would never speak again
I would have taken one last photo of us
If i knew it would have been our last photo together
I would have told you how much I loved you as a friend
If I knew that was the only time I could have told you
I would have shown you how much your friendship ment to me
If i knew it was the last time I could have showed you
If I had only known this was the last time I would see you.



I wrote this after I found out my best friend passed away
I miss you Phil, your forever in my heart and thoughts

I'm sick of dwelling on all the wrong in my life, Sick of counting my troubles rather than my blessings. So instead I will spend my engery on moving forward. Out of everything that has happend to me in my past, I now believe it has it has happend for a reason. I have to teach myself that there are no failures in life...its just your experiances and reactions to them. The greatest thing in life is not where we stand, but truely where the direction it is that we are going. After all happiness is a direction, not a place. And at this moment I'm choosing to move forward to new things, and the open doors rather then the closed. I now know that we have to be our own best friends, because we fall all to easily into a trap of being our own worst enimies. I should no longer judge myself through other peoples eyes. I am a unique person with my own path to fallow, I soon shall find my own way.

Theres nothing I wouldn't do to have you here with me
I'd even swim across the Adricatic Sea
I wish I could go back in time
Just to tell you I love you one more time
I close my eyes and dream of us being together again
Instead of feeling all this pain
Pain that shatters my heart and soul
These are feelings I cannot control
I miss the warmth of your hands in mine
The way we kissed sent shivers down my spine
I can still remember your big brown eyes
You were my gaurdian angel in disguise
The moment I saw you
I knew I loved you
Forever and always...

This is a little something my friend sent me as an "forward email." I personally hate junk mail. However im glad I decided to read this one. So I figured I would share it with everyone. I believe that as quickly as the weather changes we too change, for the better or for worse in many apects of our life, Whether it be friendships, realtionships or ourselfs as indivudals.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be.Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, thier work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Do you know what it feels like to be alone
To have everything you have ever dreamed of
but yet feel so empty
smiling on the outside
but screaming on the inside
punishing yourself
two thoughts posioning my mind
regret for the past and fear of the future
trying not to dwell on the past
being afraid to dreaming of the future
while drownding in the present
how did i let it get this far
Dose everything happen for a reason
or is life just cruel and unforgiving
trying to change the fact people act a certin way
while loosing myself in the process
attempting to become who i think i should be
while searching within myself and others
to find the answers
trying to achive perfection
when the world itself is far from perfect
every day i find myself fighting
fighting the battle within myself